I hope that in some point during my professional career that I can help draft medical policy on a national or an international scale. My father has done a lot of work related to containing epidemics and pandemics, particularly issues that require insight from the U.S. military. One of the more recent projects that he has worked on is the drafting of an international policy that can be implemented by the WHO to combat the spread of Avian Flu. So for my own policy paper, I decided to ask for my father's insight into the WHO policy to communicate to the overall objectives of the strategy.
Plan for Avian Flu Policy Paper
My original submission of the policy focuses on why the WHO policy is the best policy available. However, I fail to state a definitive thesis early on in the essay. So though I offer plenty of facts and reasons to support the WHO policy, the paper is not overly coherent because I fail to present my audience with an overall message early on. This makes the policy rather difficult to understand because the audience can not reflect back on a thesis statement.
As I revised the paper, I made sure to that all of my statements supported an overarching thesis. I continued to ask for input on the policy from my father because of his familiarity with the official policy. I believe my revised edition of the paper still presents the WHO policy as the best policy available. But it is much stronger in tying all elements of the policy together under one, overall objective. I hope to continue improving on presenting policies in a written format as it will aid me in my future goals.
